So look, we're getting a bit hysterical over here about the heat. Apparently, tomorrow is the worst day in history, and it HASN'T EVEN HAPPENED YET. Worst day in history! That includes last week when I totally missed out on tickets to an Ani Difranco concert. It includes the time my hard drive exploded. It includes the time I tried to prove how cool I was at my new school by winning a swimming race and only realised AT THE END that I had been doing the wrong stroke for 400 metres. Yeesh. Tomorrow is going to be BAD!
It is times like these when one is best suited to consider perspectives other than the perspective from which one swelters.
Here are some perspectives I am quite pleased to consider:
1. Chris Buchannan's perspective. Chris Buchannan, who played Robin, the press secretary in Greatness Thrust Upon Them, our comedy festival show last year, is in a musical at the moment. That musical is called, almost obscenely, Zanna Don't. They had me at highlarious bastardisation of well-known pop culture reference. Seriously though, Chris is brilliant. I'm seeing it next week.
2. Nick Jaffe's perspective. Standing There long-time friend and collaborator Nick Jaffe had his goodbye drinks last night. He's the ridiculously adventurous one who sails solo in a tiny boat, around the world, in the big, big ocean. Good luck Nick! You'll be missed. Again.
3. My friend. Goes by the name of Scottish Phil. This is in order to distinguish him from all other Phils in the world. The great thing about the name Scottish Phil? Scottish Phil lives in America. Scottish Phil emailed me in response to my complaints of heat. Apparently it's NEGATIVE 20 DEGREES CELCIUS where he lives, with ten inches of snow. Ten inches! My eyebrows would be peering over the top.
4. My other friend. Goes by the name Boss Of Everything. I'm not even kidding. Of everything. She's currently the boss of what my childhood next door neighbour used to call Horse Piddle. The Royal Women's Horse Piddle. What with her being royal and all. She's having, and I've thought about this and I think it works, an extraordinarily ordinary time. I hope she gets better. Right after the worst day in history, which would be well spent in Horse Piddle, since it has what my sister and I used to call coolth.
5. Robin Geradts-Gill. He works with us on lots of stuff and is generally quite the contemporary gentleman. His band, The Little Stevies, are launching their album. Keep an eye out for it. Their single, Sunshower, which was shot by our very own Stewart Thorn, is here.
6. People who are not me. Last night, I went to a Leonard Cohen concert. This is code for: tomorrow might be the worst day in history but yesterday was pretty close to the best. L Cohen reminded his audience last night (me and four or five thousand others) that we are, simply put, lucky. Through no genius of our own, we live in a peaceful country, we listen to music, we watch film, we read, we run about on sporting fields and attach enormous importance to it, we think what we want to think and sometimes we say it, and we're allowed to, and that's extremely lucky. I'm going to try and get through the worst day in history, with that in mind.
Ohh, I miss you guys... It's terrible coming home and remembering that friends mean more than anything. Even if a little bickering and carry on takes place ;)
I want to invent a special little pre-paid envelope, for mailing friends via Auspost. Imagine, you and Stewart could buy the 'pre-paids for couples' envelope (next to the bubble wrap) at the post office, jump in with a few good books, maybe some Wholphin DVDs, and then you'd be here, on my boat, in the ice storm... Wonderful! Then I could stop having going away parties... They make me tired. And sad.
Thank you for always mentioning me so nicely on Standingthere... Maybe you could write a play about sailing. It could be so simple...
There could be a boat on stage, sails made of paper, a hull of burnt native bark. The background would be blue, blue blue blue, and I would sit there, as the audience made the sails rustle, with their breath.
Nick.
Okay so firstly: aw!
Secondly: I wants an envelope.
Lastly: that play would probably get funding. Lots of it. I urge you to submit it immediately.
Nice to hear from you, and that your family is okay. We of course thought of them immediately - how's your school? x
Oh yeah and put a Royal pregnant woman who can't breathe in that play too... you know I hate to be typecast and I LOVE boats. Big boats with duty free shopping available and a maid. Oh and free yummy food. I love that too. INTERNET, don't forget the internet!
Boss O xxxx
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